ZOE!

Bravo Zoe Williams!

Look at that splendid woman - that is beauty, class and mettle. That firm jaw.

If I was a captain of industry I'd've told my ADC,

"That woman. I don't give a tinker's cuss what she's studying - the day after she graduates, I want her in my office and we're going to talk turkey about getting her on the payroll.

Oh, and do some very private research on her finances ... I don't want to hear any crap about her studies suffering because of mere money.

What's that 'discreet' charity we run? That's it - get Gwyn to do his usual trick with his invisible grants."

Oh boy, I tell you ... watching the police van being hoodlumised ... I'd've got myself a long gun - a la Day of the Jekyll - and opened my office window just enough to shoot through, cleared the paperwork from the desk and lain down to take some slow, selective shots of key bodyparts of those cavorting ruffians.

Ankles, elbows, cartilage, ear-lobes.

Can you imagine the reaction of the fuzz as, one second these punks are jumping up and down, spray painting and taunting them with their 'can't touch me' - the next, blown off the bonnet, hitherto useful youthful joints and sinews suddenly a blubby goo of extremities, spilling into the gutter.

Fuzz: "What the ... ?"

Looking up and all around like in all the movies where theyre always portrayed as real slow ... but that's no use because the soft-nose would've traveled between buildings and across the rooftops and any peripheral percussion would've evaporated upwards.

That Miss Williams ... I'd say she should get herself a good PR except, from the cut of her jib, she looks too smartly intolerant of the wankers of my trade.

Video: A bitty video of the students biffing the police van, including a sound-bite from Zoe, followed by coverage of Greek police booting and roughing up protesters.

Guardian coverage: More rabble video incl van rocking and loadsa black faces with gorblimey accents.

Women and schoolkids: chaos to the streets. Sounds like my kinda movie - speaking of which, cruise the page and check out that totally hot redhead using her school tie as a bandana. Don't tell me that's some genuine pupil ... now I get it, yesterday was just a casting call for this new 'tuition' genre of movie: all this jailbait rampaging round the tourist spots of London, cool shots of various yoof making it on the roof of Parliament and on the Big Ben bell and on the Woolsack ... instant export sales.

Comment Fail: I'm so churlish. Someone leaves a friendly comment on my Zoe post and the first thing I do is moan and bitch:

"Interesting peace of information about the fuzz and also the pictures are really good."

Thanks. Actually, they're not good - the second Zoe pic arrived blurred and the hot schoolgirl doesn't copy from the article, which is a huger pity than not doing Ms Williams justice.

The comment seems to have been left by two parties:

A Dissertations and Proofreading service

A Help-in-Artice-Writing service, whose page kicks off with the pointer that,

'The first thing to keep in mind if you want to know how to write a good article is to write articles that are informative, educational, and interesting.'

Wrong, mate. The first thing to ensure is that you can effing SPELL.

FFS, lads - and you're offering dissertating/editing/proofreading?

"Peace of information"?? PEACE??